Journaling has been a staple of my journey.

Instagram: @mikeunwasted

Website: ownsobriety.com

What’s your name and drug of choice?  Mike III, I’m 39 years old, and my D.O.C. was definitely alcohol. Benzos are a big part of my story too, but the alcohol was always present and what I was chasing. There were some various recreational drugs from time to time as well, but alcohol came first.

What’s your sobriety date?

January 17, 2018.

Give us a little background information.

I’m from a small town in Northeast Indiana. I work in E-commerce, am very entrepreneurial and always building some sort of business. Outside of my work interests, I enjoy all things tech & finance, trade stocks, crypto & NFTs, and being from Indiana, I love basketball. Oh, I’m pretty passionate about Dr Pepper and drink way too much of it.

Describe your experience as an addict.

I started drinking when I was 16. Just socially on weekends through the rest of my teenage years, but it was clear that I enjoyed it much more than others did. At 20, I was arrested for minor in possession, though it was more a rite of passage than a warning sign. Once I turned 21, I became a nightly drinker and mostly kept it in check the next couple years. I got arrested for a DUI at 24, again with minimal consequences (house arrest & probation) so my drinking continued and even increased. When I was 25, I went through a nasty & complicated break-up with a long-time girlfriend. I started day-drinking during that time and never looked back. Around 30, I had my first panic attack and benzos were added to the mix. The next 4+ years are mostly one big blur, mixing alcohol & benzos turned me into a completely different person and I blacked out regularly.

When did you realize your life had become unmanageable?

I remember very vividly when I began day-drinking by myself and knowing that I was crossing a line. That downward spiral was pretty gradual, but consistent, over a few years. Once the benzos were introduced things became unmanageable very quickly. There was an incident where a friend was letting me stay at the house that she had just bought while it was being remodeled. I got belligerently drunk, made a fool of myself, and left red wine stains all over her newly remodeled kitchen. The next day was the first time I admitted to anyone that I needed help. There were many more and much worse incidents, but that one has always stuck with me.

What did your recovery look like?

A lot of false starts. The first real attempt was a 30-day rehab stint in 2014 which I managed to turn into 6 months of sobriety. That ended with relapsing pretty epically and getting arrested for a third time. The next 3 years were filled with starts & stops, a total of 7 times in medical detox, and managing only a couple weeks sober at a time. I had stopped wanting to drink but couldn’t do it without severe physical withdrawals. Finally, in January 2018, during a 7-day stay in a detox facility I made a commitment to myself to make use of all the resources available to me to make it stick. And that’s what I did… a 7-week intensive outpatient program, 16 weeks of relapse prevention groups, 2 years of one-on-one therapy with a substance abuse counselor, 2 years of monthly Vivitrol injections, and countless meetings, online groups, books & podcasts. The majority of the work was on identifying the underlying issues that I used alcohol to avoid and learning ways to cope with the related thoughts & feelings.

How are you doing these days?

Pretty awesome, I am currently 5 years & 5 months sober. During that time, I’ve held a long-term job, received a promotion plus multiple pay raises, and managed a team of 7 people. I am happy & upbeat most days, have had way less bouts of depression, and my tremors are gone. My severe anxiety is nearly non-existent and my social skills have improved considerably.

What do you do to maintain sobriety?

Now days, it’s kind of engrained in me thanks to the work I put in early on. Journaling has been a staple of my journey and I do still journal to keep track of my thoughts & feelings. I still use meditation & grounding techniques to center myself when I’m drifting off track. I still read books & listen to podcasts about sobriety. I talk to others in recovery regularly and run Own Sobriety, a blog & newsletter for men living a sober lifestyle.

What are you grateful for?

I am grateful for all of the resources that I had available to me and to all of the support that I’ve had from those around me. I had a great team of professionals… counselor, case manager, doctor, and nurse who kept me on track the first 2 years who I am forever grateful for. I’m also grateful just to be alive and able to experience life without that thick black cloud constantly hanging over me.

Any advice you would give to newly sober folks?

One more day. In the beginning, don’t worry about how long you’re going to stay sober or think about forever. Just tell yourself that you’re doing this right now to improve this phase of your life. As the days add up and you see the improvements over time, it’ll get easier to keep going.

And find a support system. Support systems can come in many forms. Whether it’s the people around you, online communities, or professional services, find some folks that are in your corner no matter what.