Connection. An unspoken, vibrant, beautiful space of we know. We know.
Name: Brenton
Instagram: @officerecovery
Recovery Date: 07/24/2022
Drug of choice: Alcohol
This preamble is from Brenton’s IG page to bring context to his experience strength and hope. It’s from his own personal account of rehab and recovery:
Hey! It’s me…
“Here’s the shower and bathroom. Here’s where the meals are served. Here’s where we go outside for breaks, the daily schedule and here’s your room.”
The tour was over. I took two steps into the room, dropped my bag on the floor and sat on the bed. Looking straight ahead I see my reflection in the tiny mirror on the wall. Who even are you right now?
I walked out and into the main room. Heads turned, eyes watching…new guy. I grabbed a soda and went back to my room. This was my home, for now…
We all went around the circle, sharing our stories, what got us in here. Some by choice, others by medical necessity, still others ordered by the court system…you couldn’t find a more different group of people.
It was maybe half way through the second persons story, maybe it was the third guy, I don’t remember- I glanced up from looking at my shoes. I saw their eyes, shining with tears as they told of endless heartbreak, family trauma, the streets, the booze, the needles. I shifted my eyes to look into the others in the room and it happened.
Connection. An unspoken, vibrant, beautiful space of we know. We know.
It took my breath away, to be honest. Here was community, here were people wholly committed to their recovery, to becoming the best they could be, all having walked the blistered path of choices and addiction. And here is where I realized, perhaps for the first time, not only was I not alone, but that with my presence, my story, my tears, my touch…I was valuable. Because they were to me. Because we needed each other. Understood each other…(read the rest in Comments)
What if the concept of strong individualism wasn’t true? What if, when we dare to open that chest we’ve been carrying and let others know what is in it, they will be exhorted by staggering vulnerability to crack theirs as well? What if, in the revealing of our deepest selves, the magic of mutuality occurs?
Our healing often takes place when we no longer feel isolated, singled out, alone, in our shame and guilt and find that others often feel what we feel. Often think what we think. Often have the fears we have. It is in the “what, you too?” Where shame subsides, stories are shared, safe spaces are set and together, we move forward arm in arm, towards home. And home is a good place to be…
Give us a little background information. (Where are you from or grew up? What do you do for a living? What are your passions?): I’ve moved all over the place, but have spent the longest time in Washington, where I currently live. I’m in grad school, getting my MBA, and work for an online, private school. My passions include reading, writing, basketball, working out, movies, and, of course, the office.
Describe your experience in addiction: I was a social drinker for a little over a decade, and never considered I had a problem until I left what I thought was going to be my dream job. I experienced an identity crises and any and all trauma from my past flowed to the surface and so to suppress that, I began drinking heavily. Over the following two years, my drinking increased so heavily and rapidly, I started having intense medical issues, withdrawal symptoms if I went without, and felt like it was the only way I could continue to “live.”
When did you realize your life had become unmanageable?: When my drinking became a necessity for me to get through the day, and I found behavioral changes taking place that were so far away from who I truly was (stealing, lying, hiding, etc.) I knew I needed help. I reached out to my family and friends at that point.
What did your recovery look like?: I went into a detox/residential treatment center. After two and half weeks I graduated from residency, did an IOP 12 week program, then a 90 day IOP, and finally I did another several more months of OP group therapy classes. Starting in the 12 week stage, I attended AA, did the 12 steps, and after leaving the program in my 11th month started to see a trauma-informed therapist (who I still see nearly two years later).
How are you doing these days?: Today, I’m doing the best I have in decades. I attend AA as often as I can, I se e my therapist regularly, I’ve got a great support system of folks around me. I’ve accomplished things I never thought I could like writing a book, going back to school, getting back into shape physically, etc. I’m fully present with my family and absolutely loving being a husband and father again. I’m a completely new man.
What do you do to maintain your recovery?: I maintain my recovery through AA, the sober community I built at the treatment center, sober IG, quit lit, staying physically active and challenging myself to new fears. I journal daily, and spend time in nature as often as possible.
What are you grateful for?: I’m grateful for this life I’ve been given a second chance at. I’m grateful for my wife, my kids, my family and friends. I’m grateful for my job, my home, my therapist, food, the ability to run, jump, and move. I’m grateful to be able to dream and hope again.
Any goals or aspirations you'd like to share?: I am planning to form a non-profit consulting company that works in the recovery space (hence getting the MBA). I plan to travel with my family.
Any advice you would give to newly sober folks?: Find a sober community to be a part of. Do the deep, internal, identity work. It’s hard but so worth it. Share your story. The more we can do that, the more the shame subsides and safe spaces are created for us to flourish in.