I was definitely not anything Utah had ever seen in real life. LOL!!!

Note: This was a post made around Mother’s Day on Facebook, by Rachael. I felt compelled after reading it, to reach out to her and see if I could repost it as a featured story on SoberPress. She was super kind to allow me to do so. Rachael is a hardworking person who pays it forward daily on her instagram and Facebook. I’m so grateful to have met her.

Instagram: @addict_with_purpose

Facebook: Addict With Purpose

My name is Rachael Pioltini (pee•oh•chi•knee)  I am a person in long-term recovery from substance misuse of many forms Alcohol included.  I wanted to share a piece of my story in the hope that there is someone out there who may read this and find hope for the help needed. Since I found recovery I have chosen to be a voice and I am not anonymous 🖤

I’m a middle-aged 44-year-old woman who suffered many many years of uncontrollable addictions to many mind-altering substances. I  started using at a fairly young age as a teenager. I definitely wasn’t the kid who listened when everyone said “Drugs are bad.” I wanted to fit in and had moved from Queens, New York to Salt Lake City, Utah at 11 years old.

If you could only imagine the culture shock and my strong New York accented and early 90’s clothing. I was definitely not anything Utah had ever seen in real life. LOL!!! I just wanted to fit in and that wasn’t happening. All the kids laughed at me when I would talk  (tawk) cause my accent was so strong.  I  eventually found a group of friends that did accept me, but they were also the other misfits of the school and neighborhoods that weren’t accepted by the “popular kids” It all started simply with smoking pot and drinking until I became a teenage runaway, which led me into a treatment facility multiple times before I turned 18.

I moved to California after I graduated high school. ( thank God for the treatment facility and homeschooling there) Got a really great job in the movie industry and learned how to party “Hollywood style.” As years went by, I was introduced to more and more substances and I fell in love with each new substance more than the other.  

Throughout my adult life, I have lived in many places. I went back to NYC at 21 I lived in Brazil moved back to Utah found addiction all over again, moved back to NYC and now I live in Tennessee a place I have never used or drank and I absolutely love it here.

In my early 20’s I found a substance that I had no idea would control my every single move and eventually lead me to leave my children, and my home, purposely quitting my jobs, cause who wants to work when you could sell drugs and get robbed all the time so you could help all your so-called friends get high and stay miserable together. (Yes, we clearly don’t think properly under the influence) 

Crystal Meth became the true love of my life and later on Bath Salts. No, I didn’t eat people’s faces off or become a zombie apocalypse monster but, these substances became all that mattered to me. I had 2 beautiful little girls that no longer became a priority because feeding my addiction the lifestyle and friends became all I was able to care about. I started to do things I never would have imagined.

I became that person who was completely homeless in and out of the county jails and my family had finally given up on me. I had proven to them over and over that I had no intentions of being a mother or getting my life together.

As many of you can imagine many horrible things had happened and a lot of trauma along with abuse and well just really crappy things happen when you live a lifestyle of type of darkness. 

There were many failed attempts of me trying to get better.  I quickly realized how the substances controlled my every thought move and action and no matter how hard I thought I was trying to get better I always ended up chasing substance. I became so dependent on drugs and alcohol of all kinds I couldn’t start my day without waking up using.

This went on for years until July 30, 2017.  I finally decided that I was going to do “WHAT EVER IT TOOK” to get my life back and to be the mother my children deserved and the child my parents brought into this world.

Again none of this was easy and I had multiple failed attempts because I was never willing to give up the people, places, and things that I had grown to know and think I loved over the years. There’s something about the streets and the weird bonds you make with all the others who are miserable with you.

I thought I couldn’t live without them and it kept me sick for many many years. I finally was willing to let it all go and never look back and I went from being completely broken, homeless, lost, afraid, and hopeless. To an amazing mother with full custody of my children, no open court cases, and successful completion of Adult probation and parole. I have a car, I can pay my bills, and I have dedicated my life to helping others who are looking to find a better life find their way.

Today I am a strong leader in my community and I am willing to do anything and everything to help anyone who is willing to do whatever it takes to get their life back and find the beautiful life recovery has to offer.

I know this is a long post but I wanted to spread some hope as  Mother’s Day weekend is coming. Because for many years I missed Mother’s day cause I wasn’t in jail and this will be my 6th Mother’s Day with my kiddos ♥️♥️ and they get to spend it with their mom because I made a choice to never look back. To ask for help and I surrendered to my disease and allowed God (the god of my understanding) to deliver me from my addiction and to be able to help others find a way.

If you’re struggling and looking for help, there are options. All you have to do is reach out. 🖤

Please if you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse reach out to someone, anyone, it doesn’t have to be me. But let someone help you find a way. I’m happy to help find solutions and if I cannot I know someone who can.