I never thought I was alcohol dependent until much later on then it was too late.
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Facebook Group: Sober Not Over
Describe your experience as an addict: well this is quite difficult really because I never thought I was alcohol dependent until much later on then it was too late. I was already addicted to this addiction and it made it very hard for me to go to any function or any party without getting drunk. I feared any children’s birthday parties, I would go to, or family parties at Christmas because it would involve heavy heavy drinking in my early days. The only thing stopping my addiction was finances, but as I got older, they aided my addiction.
I realized my addiction had become unmanageable when I feared the weekends. I knew it would be a weekend of heavy heavy drinking, and it was beginning to take priority over everything. If I wanted to go to see a band, I wouldn’t go if I wasn’t drinking. If I went to a party, I wouldn’t go unless I could drink. All of our family holidays would revolve around going to the pub and stopping early so we could get home to drink more alcohol.
My recovery looked like me having to answer some very very difficult questions of myself. I decided that I could not simply carry on how I was, and had to cut the head off the snake immediately. This meant finding some support and finding a new tribe of people to offer me advice and help. The early part of my recovery was very hard like most people I find. It was very difficult with the cravings and intriguers, but as time went on, they got less and less. And my friendship and connection with other Sober people got stronger and stronger. The mindset change for me was when I no longer had to use willpower to remain sober. Now, this was replaced by not wanting to be drinking which required no willpower.
How am I doing these days? Good question, every day is a new day, and a new challenge, but I’ve got the benefit of yesterday to learn by. I rarely have triggers and cravings anymore but if I do, I’ve got a well-stocked, sober toolbox to help me deal with them. And this is done swiftly. I remind myself often how far I’ve come, and this is a massive foundation for my sobriety.
What do I do to maintain my sobriety? A good question. I try to live a happy and healthy life. I keep myself very active finding new hobbies. I’m now absolutely hooked on Karate. This is combined with receiving support and being open and honest with everybody so if I’m having a bad day, I don’t try and hide it. I just say to people; bear with me, I’m having a bad day today. Just being honest and open seems to help–reminding myself that I am not missing out on anything and that I can still do all the things I used to do. I no longer worry about being hungover or being over the legal limit for driving and not being the person that I know I can be.
What am I grateful for? This is a massive answer, so I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. I’m grateful to have a life. I’m grateful to be able to love and be loved and embrace life to the fullest. I care about people. I would help a stranger, whereas before I wouldn’t. I’m grateful that I’m no longer a slave to an addiction. I no longer have another thing pushing me to buy alcohol, and most of all I’m grateful that I’ve got my self-respect back and self-esteem. I can do things with just my power, not fueled by alcohol.
What advice would I give to new folks in their sobriety? Mainly, be yourself. Just sit down. Relax. And seriously think about what you want to do and the way you want to do it. If you are trying to please, somebody else this will not work. Don’t be frightened of starting day one. I have had many day ones and eventually, they turned into day three fours and then so on. You will know when it’s your time. Nobody else can force you into any decisions. Find a Sober tribe of people who will support you. These are the sort of people you need to surround yourself with. Connection is the opposite of addiction.