Relapsing is part of the recovery process. Give yourself the grace and self-love that you deserve.
Dominique Velasquez
What was your drug of choice?
I was addicted to pain pills. Mostly Oxycodone.
What’s your sobriety date? 7/16/2018
Give us a little background information.
I grew up in Albuquerque, NM. I am a Finance Manager, and I love music. I love to dance and sing. I also enjoy physical fitness.
Describe your experience as an addict.
My experience as an addict was EXHAUSTING!! It was a full time job. I was constantly counting my pills, trying to plan how I was going to get from day to day.
When did you realize your life had become unmanageable?
My life became unmanageable when I got to the point that I could not even get out of bed without taking a pill.
What did your recovery look like?
My recovery was slow, hard, and rewarding. It took me a little over three years in treatment before I finally felt like I was over the mountain. I relapsed quite a bit in the first couple of years. I eventually started using those relapses to gain strength and to get a better understanding of my triggers. I struggle with anxiety, so that was a big trigger. I have learned how to shift my mindset through my recovery, and it is one of the best tools that has come out of this journey.
How are you doing these days? / What do you do to maintain sobriety?
I am in the best place of my life right now. The journey of recovery taught me so much about myself, and most importantly that life is a journey not a destination. I would always tie happiness to an end goal, and this caused me to not be present and live in the moment. That is the reason I loved the pills so much. They gave me an internal peace that I didn’t know how to achieve on my own.
What are you grateful for?
I am grateful to be alive and not just living. I finally feel fulfilled and I am living for a purpose. I am finally living unapologetically as ME!!!
Any advice you would give to newly sober folks?
The advice I would give to someone who is newly sober is to give yourself grace and the self love that you deserve. Relapsing is part of recovery. You take that as an opportunity to grow and find strength. Take it one step, one day, one pivot at a time.
Her story:
In 2010 I started experiencing debilitating abdominal pain. I was hospitalized a couple of times, and eventually diagnosed with endometriosis. A very painful condition that many females live with. The doctors prescribed me hydrocodone to control my pain. Eventually the pain got so intense I needed several surgeries, and I was on a combination of hydrocodone, oxycodone, and tramadol for a straight two years. When the pain pills ran out within a couple of days I started to feel very depressed and flu like symptoms begun. My twin sister was the one who told me that it was in fact withdrawal symptoms that I was experiencing. Each day I felt worse. During that same time period my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, and he had oxycodone. So, I just thought to myself I will just go get a few pills to hold me over for the next few days, and then I will be fine. Well, that one trip turned into 4 years of me going to his house to steal pills from him. It got to the point that the pills is all I thought about. I would look at that little pill, and couldn’t believe that it had total control over my entire life. It was exhausting!! I was constantly counting pills to get a plan on how I was going to get more to get through the days. It affected my kids, and my husbands well being. On days that I was running low on them I would be so irritable and on edge, I hated myself. I wanted help so bad, but I was so ashamed of myself. How did I let this happen. Oh my god I am a drug addict. The shame and fear of being judged was so high that I almost lost my life in 2014. My kids would have been left without their mom because of the stigma attached to this. I surrendered to God and cried out for help. I promised him that if he would give me the courage and strength to ask for help I would never do this again. I googled opiate addiction help and called the first place that popped up. I started treatment the next day. It was so hard walking into that clinic for the first time, but I also felt so relieved. My mission is to change the stigma around addiction and mental health. My biggest fear was people finding out my secret, but through this recovery process, I have learned to love myself and have realized that this disease that I battled doesn’t define me as a person. I am sharing my story to give others hope and to be a testimony that recovery is possible. One-step, one day, one pivot at a time. I also hope to get the message out there that relapsing is part of the recovery process. You use that relapse as an opportunity to understand why you relapsed, give yourself the grace and self-love that you deserve, so that you can grow and become stronger. Also, by sharing my story publicly it took away the power of this little secret I have carried for the last several years. Sharing it takes away all the power it had over me, and I now feel free and proud of my journey.
Proud Survivor,
Dominique Velasquez