Instagram: @drugfreeinsweden

My name is Fredde.

Drug-free and sober since 19/08/2022

Around 1997-1998 I tried smoking cannabis for the first time and I hated it, but something inside me said that (there) must be something wrong when so many people think it's great. So I kept trying and trying and eventually I loved it. It snuck up on me slowly and I never noticed when it got from recreational to an addiction. It went from a weekend thing to a daily thing and eventually when my dealer left off some Cannabis he said: Here, this is for free, try it... And left a ziplock bag with Amphetamine. Of course i tried... And a new chapter began. I don't even remember the first time I ‘‘‘used a needle.

But one day I was obsessed with shooting up fucking everything. I shot up Opiates, Amphetamine, Benzos and even fucking Ecstasy. 

In five years I lost everything around me, I was homeless and lived in my car for a while and eventually traded my car for a couple of grams Amphetamine. I had nothing left other than a backpack with some useless stuff inside. My uncle fought to get me to rehab for a long time. I was scared as hell and kept avoiding him. But in the end, in April of 2002, i got into rehab. It was a 12 step program and after six months I was “ready” for the real life. 

Much can be told about my life from 2002 to 2021, but I lived really good, got out of debt, and was really happy. It is a too long story to tell here when it is almost 20 years so I'll stick to the subject. 

During all those years I never quit drinking alcohol, but for the most parts it was not that bad... But... In the end I could not control that either... In June of 2021 my father died and I sat for about four days watching him die a very painful and agonising death. That isn't pretty... After that I started over-consuming my painkillers in Sweden (it is called Citodon) and the best comparison for the US is Vicodin. When i didn't have my own painkillers i started buying Oxy. This led to another downwards spiral that ended in too much alcohol, a shitload of pills and at the end shooting up Amphetamine again. In August 2022, my exwife to be found my syringes and they held an intervention. The consequences this time was really bad... I lost my wife, best friend and life companion.  

Right now, I have been clean and sober 4+ months. 

I rekcon that if i stay clean and sober now for another 20 years I'm surely dead by then and then i have won the battle.

For those of you who have read this far, I hope some of this may inspire you to keep fighting! And I leave you with this: Never ever fucking relax in your struggle! I relapsed totally after almost 20 years without drugs. You are never safe from relapse, but then again if you slip you are always welcome back to NA or AA and a drug free and sober life .