Instagram: @nomo.wino.daph

YouTube Channel: @nomowinodaph

What's your name and drug of choice? Daphne, alcohol (weed as a chaser)

What's your sobriety date? July 29, 2018

Where are you from or grew up? What do you do for a living? What are your passions?

I am originally from Alabama. I had a bio father whom I never knew but was an alcoholic and he died at age 52. My mom never drank, never.  My dad (my mom’s second husband-adopted me) would have a beer here and there. Nothing over the top, just a normal drinker. When I was little, I would have sips of my paw-paw’s miller pony beer. I loved that, but my grandparents were not really drinkers either. I have 11 siblings. We are a very blended family. Tragically, I recently lost my 19 year old sister to fentanyl.

These days I travel as much as possible as both of my children are grown (26 & 29). My husband and I landed in Los Angeles and are finding it hard to leave, hence lies my great passion (traveling with my husband-sober style). We have always enjoyed traveling. Now that I’m sober, it’s so much better. I don’t have to worry about ruining any trips in a blackout, only to hear about it the next day. So, I no longer choose all inclusive destinations with restaurants only having a great wine list (wine snob), and planning everything around alcohol.

 When Covid hit, I took virtual classes to become a nationally certified recovery coach, sober companion, sober transport & a relapse prevention professional. I did all of this, not for a career or money, but really to learn all I could about this disease. I value each moment of my time with my husband, therefore I only choose to work with a handful of individuals via zoom. I am able to travel while being of service. I missed out on too much during active addiction so I do not waste a single moment of any day. I’ve been blessed to wake up sober – I’m not wasting it. Once this day passes, it’s just a memory. Everything is impermanent. Once I got sober, I learned the true meaning of this word – “impermanence”.

Describe your experience as an addict.

So not to be a drunk log… 

Like most, I drank in High School & College. I also smoked weed and tripped on acid. But then, it never interfered with anything. I did it when it was available. If it wasn’t available, it wasn’t the end of the world. 

I was married at 20 and had my son at 21. I may have had a glass of wine a handful of times for the next 6 yrs. My husband traveled, so I would drink some at night to help with sleep and relax from dealing with a 3 & 6 year old. Over time, the 2 glasses of wine a night turned into a bottle a night. Then 2 bottles. I held out at about 1-2 bottles a night for a few years. 

We moved to the beach my addiction took off. I was drinking at lunch almost everyday of the week. I had no off switch. I homeschooled my kids but I never drank when schooling or anything to do with my kids. I still didn’t “have to have it”, I just loved the taste and feeling plus it’s what you (I) do living at the beach. I would get really drunk but still could put it down, if I tried.  

Fast forward to my son’s senior year of high school and I learned about “the hair of the dog”. It was a slow decline from that point on for about the next 6ish years. I was drinking before work and while at work. I would always have a stash of vodka miniatures to guzzle when I could,  and later, drink wine like a “lady” in public. 

I was an interior decorator & store manager and it was my job to make sure I offered wine to customers. I didn’t like to share but I didn’t mind shopping for it. I would drink from the time I woke up until I blacked out almost every night. I finally quit my job and we moved to Texas from Alabama. 

Once I got to Texas, I would put either vodka (or wine) in my coffee cup each morning. I’d then drink all day. Same thing, different day. In May of 2018 I was popped with a DUI going to Costco (less than 1 mile from home). Can’t make this up… the next 2.5 months I stayed home, trying to hide from my husband who worked from home. That was exhausting! 

Until that day in late July when I woke up, smoked & drank everything in sight. That morning, I looked in the mirror… I didn’t recognize the person staring back. Dead eyes. I dragged myself into my husband’s office and said “I AM READY”.  I was either getting help or ending my life. I could not go on living this way!

What did your recovery look like?

After hours of calling treatment centers in Texas, my husband found a detox center that had a bed available that evening. He packed my bags and off we went (before checking in, I made him stop at a gas station to get more wine). He told me this later, as I was in a brownout throughout that day (He said he bought me the nastiest Chardonnay they sold 😊). Due to hallucinations, I was in detox for 6 days. Instead of checking out, I wanted to go to a 90 day “door to door” in-patient treatment facility. I was fully committed to getting clean. While I was there, I soaked up every damn minute. I did not want to go back to the destructive life from which i was saved. In-patient treatment was hard. I had never been away from family or not able to talk to loved ones, but it was necessary. I had to focus on me and getting well. I made my recovery known on social media. I wanted the accountability. I also knew all eyes were on me, and I was sure there were some waiting for me to fail since everyone who knew me knew I loved my wine. 

How are you doing these days? 

So, 5 years ago, when I left rehab, I hit the ground running. I chase my recovery like I chased that drink - like my life depends upon it, because it does! 

These days, I travel all over the world with my husband of over 30 years, making the rest of my life, the best of my life. Thanks to technology, I am able to help individuals everywhere. I am very active in the recovery community on Instagram (@nomo.wino.daph). I have made the greatest friends that are in recovery Worldwide. I also sponsor women all over North America. 

During Covid, I made connections everywhere as well as life long sober buddies. No matter where we travel, I seek out new “in person” meetings, but I will do zoom meetings if I am on the road (sometimes doing meetings in the car). NO EXCUSES! 

I’ve actually chaired meetings while on the interstate. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way”. I am active in AA & Refuge Recovery.  I read daily recovery devotionals as well as check in my sober buddies. I enjoy my prayer & meditation. Some things are nonnegotiable. I do service work when I find opportunities and I rarely say NO when something is thrown my way. In order for me to keep it, I have to give it away. The end, plain and simple. I am an empath, and have always wanted to help others. 

What do you do to maintain sobriety? Kinda the same as above. 👆

What are you grateful for? 

Today, I am sitting here at my new favorite matcha cafe enjoying the beautiful California weather. 5 years ago, I would have been drunk in Hollywood stalking movie-stars 😊. I am grateful that God has given me this beautiful sober life with an amazing man that still thinks I hung the moon (despite my addiction). He never once lost hope and for that I’m eternally grateful. Also, my 29 & 26 year olds are thriving, healthy & sober. Can’t really ask for more than that. 

Any advice you would give to newly sober folks? 

Every recovery starts with one sober hour. Think, I just won’t/can’t drink today. The phrase - “One day at a time” mindset makes sobriety more achievable. 

Know that your new life is going to cost you your old one. If you’re fortunate enough to get sober, don’t go back to the lifestyle and people that made you sick. And, don’t be afraid, there’s a better life for you on the other side of the bottle, but your bottom is when you stop digging. You must surrender to win. It’s not always easy dealing with life on life’s terms but it’s much easier to figure things out sober. 

Take it from me, it IS possible. If I can do it, anyone can. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help, it may save your life… It did mine (It kept a gun out of my mouth that last day). You no longer have to suffer in silence & you are never alone 🫶